यही है परिवार की परिभाषा हरा भरा ये घर संसार ।।

I am very glad to share a poem written by my grandmother...

मैं आरा में रहती थी                                                                                                       

माता पिता चाचा चाची 

सब मिलकर रहती

कौन अपना कौन पराया 

नहीं समझती थी 

जब आरा में पढ़ती थी

जब घर पर आती थी 

छोटे छोटे भाई बहनों के 

कभी खिलौने कभी कपड़े लाती थी

खुशी खुशी उनें गले लगाती थी ।।

जब माँ पिताजी ने ब्याह रचाया 

ससुराल में भरा पूरा परिवार 

हरा भरा मेरा घर संसार

परिवार में सास ससुर दादी सास थी 

उनकी सेवा कर थक जाती थी 

कभी रूठना कभी  मनाना 

यही है परिवार की परिभाषा

हरा भरा ये घर संसार ।।

छोटी ननदें और छोटे देवर 

कभी रूठते कभी खुश होते

उन्हें पकड़ पकड़ कर लाती 

हॅंस  हॅंस कर दो बातें करती

पति पत्नी  से सजता है  परिवार 

छोटे छोटे बच्चों से सजता है घर  संसार

जब  घर में आते मेहमान 

सास ननद संग मिलकर स्वागत  करती 

कोई कमी नहीं छोड़ती 

कोई समझ नहीं पाता 

कैसा है यह परिवार निराला 

हरा भरा ये घर संसार

जब हम माँ  पिता बनें 

खुशी से झूम उठे 

घर में खुशियाँ छाई 

आगे बढ़ा मेरा परिवार 

हरा भरा मेरा घर संसार ।।

भगना- भगनी और अपने बच्चों  में 

कभी फर्क  नहीं समझती

सभी को अपने जैसा अपनाया

खूब खिलाया खूब पहनाया ।।

एक डाल के दो पहलू 

विभा और शैलजा 

विभा ने डाकटरी जमाई 

शादी रचाने के लिए कह कह कर थक जाती 

किसी की नहीं सुनती अपनी ही मनमानी करती 

माँ की व्यथा  नहीं समझती 

शैलजा कभी लटकती कभी मटकती 

कभी आसमान में प्लेन 

दिखा- दिखा कर खुश हो जाती 

कभी इला कभी इया कभी जया 

कभी  शैलजा पूकारती है 

ऐसी है मेरी गुड़िया रानी ।।

सभी छोटे बड़े लाड प्‍यार से 

शैलू-शैलू कह कर पूकारते हैं

जब शैलू  पड़ती बिमार

तन मन से उसकी सेवा में

सभी जूट जाते छोटे -बड़े तन मन से लग जाते

कोई नहीं समझ नहीं पाता 

कैसा है यह परिवार निराला 

हरा भरा ये संसार हमारा  ।।

कुशल गृहणी के हाथ में  

घर की बागडोर होती है 

एक डोर में रखती परिवार को बाँध कर 

अपना आँसू पोंछकर 

दूसरों के खुशी में  खुशी मनाती है 

यही है मेरे परिवार की परिभाषा

ऐसा है मेरा परिवार निराला 

हरा भरा ये संसार हमारा  ।।

जब हमने अपने बच्चों का ब्याह रचाया

बेटा बेटी बहू दामाद से

भर गया मेरा संसार 

नाती पोतों से भर गया मेरा घर द्वार

नानी नाना दादा दादी के गूँज से 

सज गया मेरा संसार 

नाती पोते मेरी बगिया के फूल हैं  

मेरा घर द्वार

ये मेरे बच्चे  दिल के सच्‍चे हैं 

यही है मेरे परिवार की परिभाषा

ऐसा है मेरा परिवार निराला 

हरा भरा ये संसार हमारा  ।।

परिवार के बड़े बुढ़ों का साया हो 

उसे कभी दुःख छू नहीं पाता

खुशी खुशी उनका जीवन कट जाता है 

शादी हो या पर्व -त्यौहार

खुशी खुशी काम में हाथ बटातें हैं 

उनके गले लग जाते हैं

जब परिवार में दुःख आता है 

एक दूसरे के कंधे पर अपना सिर रख कर 

अपना दुःख भूलाते  हैं 

हर चीज में गुण -अवगुण होता है 

यही है परिवार की परिभाषा 

ऐसा है मेरा परिवार निराला 

हरा भरा ये संसार हमारा  ।।

जब बच्चे परदेश जाते हैं 

उनके सास - ससुर 

माता - पिता खुशी मनाते हैं 

अपनी व्यथा को दिल में छुपाकर 

बच्चों के खुशी में अपनी खुशी मनाते हैं 

आजकल की दुनिया में

बच्चे बुढ़ें छोटे छोटे टुकडों में बँटें हुए हैं

यही है परिवार की परिभाषा  

ऐसा हैमेरा परिवार निराला 

हरा भरा ये संसार हमारा ।।

पति पत्नी  गाड़ी के दो पहिए हैं 

जैसे गाड़ी एक पहिए पर नहीं चलती

जीवन की गाड़ी भी बिन दोनों के

सहयोग से नहीं चलती 

कभी  लड़ते कभी झगड़ते हैं 

कभी मीठी मीठी बातें करते 

फिर खुशी से गले लग जाते हैं

यही है परिवार की परिभाषा  

ऐसा है मेरा परिवार निराला 

हरा भरा ये संसार हमारा ।।

बीबी जब पड़े बिमार 

आँखों में दो दो आँसू रोते हैं

कैसे चलेगा मेरा घर -संसार 

किसी से कुछ नहीं कहते हैं

मन को अपने समझाते हैं

अपने बिछाए जाल में खुद़ फँस जाते हैं

अपनी हार में अपनी जीत समझते हैं 

यही है परिवार की परिभाषा  

भरा पूरा मेरा परिवार

यही हमारा घर संसार

ऐसा है मेरा परिवार निराला  ।।

                          - Mrs. Radhika Verma

You Either Get Lost In The Crowd Or Emerge As A Winner…

In the walk of our life, often we get lost in the crowd. We all are born with great aspirations and dreams but very few of us get a chance to live our dream. The rest of them often give up the thought of chasing their own dream. Running around to fulfill others expectations, they seldom give a thought of fulfilling their needs and expectations. And so they live a life which doesn’t belong to them at all. Stucked in the responsibilities leads them to take up a job which never defines their potential and talent. And then those responsibilities soon turn into their needs, the need to earn money, to support their family and they end up spending a life full of regrets and complain. Soon enough they get married have few kids and then the dreams which they couldn’t conquer are now imposed on their children. They want to see their children to become what they always wanted to be. Instead of letting them to lead a life where they can discover their talents, utilize their potential, again the same cycle of fulfilling their expectations and needs are imposed on their children. What they couldn’t do, they want their children to do now. Again irrespective of what their children wants to do. This cycle keeps on repeating until one day someone takes a stand and goes against everyone’s will and end up doing what they wanted to do.

If someone wants to emerge as a winner from a crowd they all have to pay its price. People who walk away from the crowd are often left alone. The price that they have to pay in the quest of chasing their dream is often loneliness. Because they end up losing their loved ones quite often while walking the path that they have chosen for themselves. You might disappoint few, lose many but in the end when you will be there where you always wanted to be, and when you will look back from there then you will get an instant flashback of what people said about you when you stood for your dreams, who all left you in the mid-way, who double-crossed you for their selfishness, everything will come out alive then. You might not have anyone by your side then but the feeling of living up to your expectations is worth it. Now you will question yourself, what is the point of living such a dream when you don’t have people by your side to celebrate your victory? Your question is right but that doesn’t mean we should not chase our dream because we might have a chance of losing people. All such things should come secondary. If the person understands you well then he/she will never leave you alone. Always look after your priority, even if that makes you alone. Because it’s better to lead a life alone rather than spending your life in regrets. If you are alone, you don’t affect other’s lives. But if you have regrets then that may show up in the life of people around you. There is a thin line between being selfish and looking after your priority which seldom anyone’s understands, and when you try to differentiate between them then you come crashing down to earth instantly. All your efforts will go in vain and again you will have to start from the scratch. Sometimes just leave something the way it is, wait for the right time; time will heal all your wounds. All you have to make sure is that your karma was good. If your deed is right then surely you will reach where you see yourself.

If we think this way, everyone comes alone and they will leave alone. Whatever we do here is temporary. But in this temporary world are we all making the most of it, which should be our mindset. Even though at some point of time if you have to sacrifice something do it, if you have to go against someone’s ill to chase your dream go ahead but never ever think of spending a life full of regrets.

What you chose is what you become. So you either want to get lost in the crowd or emerge as a winner. The choice is always yours… 

Because Winners always stand alone...

When you meet Isolation…

There comes a time when the world doesn’t exist for you. A time comes when nothing seems familiar, when you want to get underground for a time being. A time comes when you don’t want anyone around you. A time comes when you want to be completely alone, all by yourself. But this materialistic world won’t even let you do that. Behind everything they have their own personal agenda. No one actually cares what you want; people just tend to impose things on you. If you are smart enough you move aside but you are one emotional fool then it’s easy to fool you. And you become the victim. And when you become the victim you start cursing around. You curse God, your friends, loved ones and in the end you end up blaming yourself for being fooled. Then what? You have two choices: either you get isolated or be what you are. Stick to the rules you made earlier. But what you get in return, pain in either way. You are the one who will be on the suffering side. When the world kept on chanting and yelling in your ear, that don’t expect things from anyone apart from yourself then you didn’t believe it. But when you saw it happening around you, then you were shattered. You feel like a stranger now, amidst of all the people who seemed familiar to you a while ago. You start counting things you did for people, like waiting for them at the bus stop; teaching them a night before the exam, giving your notes, saving your lunch for them, planning an outing such that everyone becomes a part of it. You do it because you feel that it is your responsibility to do that. That’s what we do right, live a selfless life in a selfish world. When you had a choice to become selfish you chose the latter option, and now you regret. Even now if you try to be one of them you can’t because you have lived a life so far with a different attitude. It’s hard to bring a completely different attitude in between out of nowhere. The reason behind this being simple, you don’t want to upset your soul. Because if it happens with you that you turn into one of those people then you will never have a peace of mind. So now you can’t change everything, so you lose whatever you earned so far. And then you move on, because you think that’s the best thing to do. And life is all about moving on. But why life is all about moving on? What about those relations that you earned? Do they have any meaning? If not then why it was so crucial for you? And if they have a meaning then instead of working things out why we always run away from the fact. Later on we label that phase as, something which was not in our fate. If everything was depended on fate then why you go on to people and lent a hand to help? Why you make friends? Why you go to someone whom you like and ask for a date? Because now you start believing in something, you start believing in karma which is on a parallel line with fate. And somehow you try to make a connection between them that if your karma is good then you end up witnessing the magic of fate. But both of them are two different things. Fate is something which is inevitable and karma is something which leads things to happen. Fate may not change but karma changes with your deeds. That’s what our mythology says and so says the world. But still we mix both of them up and make a whole new thing.

Since our childhood days, we have learnt that everything in this world has two faces: head or tail, good or bad, angel or demon. But we are always unaware of the third face of this world, which is the worst of them all. And that is being neutral, if you are more on one side it is good for other people to deal with you. But if you are being neutral then you are unpredictable and you end up hurting everyone around you, even then you are not even bothered about it. All you think about is the situation where life is easy for you. The good trait always leads us to something good and the bad part always leads us to something bad. But the phase between these two changes the world of other people upside-down, and they can’t even blame anyone because they don’t know that there is a third face of this world which exists in real. I name it, the devastating phase.

So what we can conclude here now? I don’t know if I am making any sense or not. As we grow up we should stop depending on others. Walk alone if you have to, because no one will be taking up your responsibility, no one will be bothered to greet you if you don’t earn well and no one will be sharing your death bed. Stay aloof if you have to, because you will never regret the time that you spend with yourself. Life gives us few dots; it’s our choice how we connect them. And what price we pay while connecting those dots to complete a life worth living.

"So far what I have learnt about life is, when you starting expecting things from anyone it screws you even more. It’s better to stay aloof rather than being somewhere where you don't even exist."

I Praise Your Kindness Lord…

When things didn’t work out,

You always stood beside me.

When I felt helpless,

You lent a helping hand to me.

When dark clouds hovered around,

You were the one who took me out of it.

When I was lonely,

It was you who filled the empty space for me.

Oh Lord! I thank you for being there,

 And for bestowing your kindness upon me.

I praise your kindness lord,

And the love that I got from you…

I’m 21, let’s get married…

We are in 21^st century, the era where development is at its peak in all aspects of life. People are more educated than earlier. But still there is something which never leaves us. It follows us like our shadow, even in broad daylight. Although many things have changed with time, but our mentality is still stucked there. Recently I have come across news about many people who gets married or who wants to get married once they are done with their graduation. Particularly in Gujarat, the place where businessmen are born, there the basic mentality of people is once I’m 21 let’s get married. People may say what’s wrong in that because according to the law our government gives us the flexibility to get married at the age of 21 for boys and 18 for girls. Does that mean we should forget about everything else and get married? Marriage is a big thing in one’s life and to lead a happy married life (seldom that happens now) one needs to be mature both physically and mentally. Do you think a 21 year old boy is ready to take such big responsibilities? Someone who has not even tasted the rationality which this life shows us ties himself into a lifetime responsibility, when he is not even able to support himself he takes up the responsibility of being a husband. And two-three years down the line they end up having a kid. I am not against marriage but marrying at an early age doesn’t make any sense to me. Most of them are kids of businessman so later on after their graduation they start looking after their dad’s business, doesn’t matter whether they want to do it or not. In most cases they are forced to because now they have a wife to look after which doesn’t give them a chance to experiment anything else in their life. So what is the meaning of such life where marriage is your only concern? What about those dreams that you used to live during your school and college times? What about those plan that you planned meticulously in those sleepless nights? What about your identity? How you are gonna explain to your children to chase your dream when you don’t know anything about it. And hence this cycle goes on. On one side we talk about big big things while on the other we are still stucked in those peculiar old times thoughts.

For guys they still have a chance to start afresh and achieve their dream. But what about those girls who are locked between the four walls of house stucked up in household chores? What about their dream and their identity? Whole life they end up working their ass off to keep someone happy. And after all their efforts people still complain. In some places they are not even allowed to wear what they feel like wearing. And the household work keeps on increasing exponentially as time passes. And one day the family pressurizes them to have a baby. If they protest then all those emotional drama is on and somehow they are convinced that after marriage having a baby is the only thing left. And once that happens whole life passes by in a blink.

The reason why this is still happening is because one, they don’t have the courage they stand for themselves and two; they are not exposed to the different parts of life. They just know one thing that they have to look after their dad’s business. Even if they wanted to become a doctor, engineer, singer, and writer all such dreams have no space in those places.

According to me, I think the marriageable age should be after 25 years. You could do something in your life which would define you for the rest of your life. You can handle those real time life problems. So that you are mature enough to understand people. You don’t end up having a divorce or a fucked up married life. Earlier when these use to happen back then things were entirely different. The way of life was different. People never had such facilities and technologies as we have now. People never had so many things to do unlike now. And so they used to get married early. But now things have changed drastically and we should always change with time, then only our time will change according to us. Marriage is not like a tissue paper that you use it and throw away. Once you get into it there is no running away because it’s a big responsibility which connects two people, which brings two families together. And to understand that one must face the anomalies of life.

People would say that this is bullshit; things are not like this anymore. But trust me it is. People are getting married at an early age and within a year of their marriage they start regretting about it when they see their friends doing something out of the box in life and they are stucked up in such responsibilities. Think about it. And if you realize this then think twice before getting married. Ask yourselves whether you are ready for it or not. Because there is a good saying, “if you don’t satisfy your need you can’t satisfy anyone else”.

Fill your tank then only you can fill someone else tank.