I’m 21, let’s get married…

We are in 21^st century, the era where development is at its peak in all aspects of life. People are more educated than earlier. But still there is something which never leaves us. It follows us like our shadow, even in broad daylight. Although many things have changed with time, but our mentality is still stucked there. Recently I have come across news about many people who gets married or who wants to get married once they are done with their graduation. Particularly in Gujarat, the place where businessmen are born, there the basic mentality of people is once I’m 21 let’s get married. People may say what’s wrong in that because according to the law our government gives us the flexibility to get married at the age of 21 for boys and 18 for girls. Does that mean we should forget about everything else and get married? Marriage is a big thing in one’s life and to lead a happy married life (seldom that happens now) one needs to be mature both physically and mentally. Do you think a 21 year old boy is ready to take such big responsibilities? Someone who has not even tasted the rationality which this life shows us ties himself into a lifetime responsibility, when he is not even able to support himself he takes up the responsibility of being a husband. And two-three years down the line they end up having a kid. I am not against marriage but marrying at an early age doesn’t make any sense to me. Most of them are kids of businessman so later on after their graduation they start looking after their dad’s business, doesn’t matter whether they want to do it or not. In most cases they are forced to because now they have a wife to look after which doesn’t give them a chance to experiment anything else in their life. So what is the meaning of such life where marriage is your only concern? What about those dreams that you used to live during your school and college times? What about those plan that you planned meticulously in those sleepless nights? What about your identity? How you are gonna explain to your children to chase your dream when you don’t know anything about it. And hence this cycle goes on. On one side we talk about big big things while on the other we are still stucked in those peculiar old times thoughts.

For guys they still have a chance to start afresh and achieve their dream. But what about those girls who are locked between the four walls of house stucked up in household chores? What about their dream and their identity? Whole life they end up working their ass off to keep someone happy. And after all their efforts people still complain. In some places they are not even allowed to wear what they feel like wearing. And the household work keeps on increasing exponentially as time passes. And one day the family pressurizes them to have a baby. If they protest then all those emotional drama is on and somehow they are convinced that after marriage having a baby is the only thing left. And once that happens whole life passes by in a blink.

The reason why this is still happening is because one, they don’t have the courage they stand for themselves and two; they are not exposed to the different parts of life. They just know one thing that they have to look after their dad’s business. Even if they wanted to become a doctor, engineer, singer, and writer all such dreams have no space in those places.

According to me, I think the marriageable age should be after 25 years. You could do something in your life which would define you for the rest of your life. You can handle those real time life problems. So that you are mature enough to understand people. You don’t end up having a divorce or a fucked up married life. Earlier when these use to happen back then things were entirely different. The way of life was different. People never had such facilities and technologies as we have now. People never had so many things to do unlike now. And so they used to get married early. But now things have changed drastically and we should always change with time, then only our time will change according to us. Marriage is not like a tissue paper that you use it and throw away. Once you get into it there is no running away because it’s a big responsibility which connects two people, which brings two families together. And to understand that one must face the anomalies of life.

People would say that this is bullshit; things are not like this anymore. But trust me it is. People are getting married at an early age and within a year of their marriage they start regretting about it when they see their friends doing something out of the box in life and they are stucked up in such responsibilities. Think about it. And if you realize this then think twice before getting married. Ask yourselves whether you are ready for it or not. Because there is a good saying, “if you don’t satisfy your need you can’t satisfy anyone else”.

Fill your tank then only you can fill someone else tank.