Like a flowing river…

Sometimes life surprises us when we don’t expect things to happen. And same was the case when I saw her on the beach. Out of the blue, she just appeared in front of my eyes. The waves kissing her feet, wind playing with her hair which was covering a part of her beautiful face was an exotic scene to watch. She seemed annoyed by the wind which every time played with the curl strand of her hair and made it come over her face. But she was enjoying playing with the waves. I was sitting at a distance and at that moment for me the people, the majestic sea, the wind, the blue sky, the cloud, the whole world ceased to exist. All I could see was a pretty face with mesmerizing pair of eyes in which I was completely lost now. In front of her rosy lips even the rose would itself feel shy. It was not like she was the only one beautiful girl on earth, but still there was something about her which was attracting me towards her, something which filled the space in my heart. With every blink of her eye my heart skipped a beat. I have never noticed anyone so carefully, so elegantly before and it was quite late when I realized that I was gazing at her like a stupid. She saw me gazing at her many times but I was in my own world of fantasy. Though I felt like an idiot there but when she passed a smile to me I was on cloud nine. I could see stars in broad daylight, violins playing in the background and music that the wave gave made a perfect evening for us. Her kohl lined eyes and the lively smile pumped my heart with feelings that I have never felt in past few years. She was like an angel who appeared out of nowhere and then everything ceased to exist. It was hard to describe her, someone who was so perfectly carved by its creator. It seemed as if she was the most loving creation of the creator. I tried not to gaze at her but I couldn’t resist.

And I was so lost in her that I didn’t even realize when she was standing right in front of my eyes. And when I realized that I tell you, I was really embarrassed.

“Why you have been staring at me?” she asked me

Her voice was sweeter than honey. My heart beat grew even faster now and I was at a loss of words.

“Hello!!!!” she said again

“Because I have never seen anyone like you before in my life.” I said

And she smiled. I knew one thing for a fact that she was on cloud nine already. But I was not trying to impress her. True it was that I never saw anyone so beautiful, so lively ever in my life. With every second passing by I was getting drowned in the ocean of her eyes. In the vicinity of her aura my heart skipped a beat every time she blinked.

“Who are you?” she asked me

“I am someone who has just fallen for you…” I said

And now she was blushing, her cheek was blood red. I don’t know how it was happening but such lines were coming out of my mouth on its own. I was not even nervous now.

She was like a flowing river, so elegant, so beautiful, and so lively that I wanted to keep her in my heart forever.

“Hiii, I am Angel.” She said

I opened my eyes and I saw a beautiful sunrise from the window of my room. I got up from my bed, “it was a dream” I reflected!

I Too Had A Love Story...

“Why won’t you let me die?” she asked him

He stayed quiet. Never in his life had he thought about this day. Not even in his wildest of dreams had he thought that someday he will see her in this condition.

“I want to put an end to my sufferings. I can’t live like this anymore. Why don’t you say anything? I am tired of all this. The pain has worsened with time; you can’t keep me alive for long. Its time when you free me from all the pain, free my soul.” she said

“Do you remember the day I left you; I left a part of me that day with you. I tried forgetting you, tried hating you but I couldn’t. I thought that I had lost you forever. But after two years you again came in my life. However the situation has changed drastically now and I don’t want to leave this chance. I don’t want to live my life with guilt. I want to try, give it all I could, to save you. If I let you die today, I will have to let myself die here with you then. I am not doing this for you; I am doing this for my life.” he said

With that tears started trickling down her cheek. He wiped it with his hand and left her alone in the ICU.

“I have always loved you…” she shouted as he walked out of the room.

 He went downstairs, sat on a bench and he broke down. He couldn’t control his tears. He never thought that his one decision would take someone’s life. The whole flashback replayed in his mind, he felt a pat on his shoulder which brought him back into reality.

“I can’t let her die. I have to save her at any cost.” He said more to himself than to the doctor.

“You have done a lot for her; she has no complaints from you. But her condition is very critical and you have to understand that. We all are doing all what we can do to save her life. But if she is not willing to fight then I am afraid we won’t be able to help that much.” Doctor said

“Please save her, I lost her already two years before. I don’t want to lose her again.” He said

The doctor held his hand and said, “We are trying hard. But the excessive dosage of drugs has made her body weak. She doesn’t have the immunity in her body to fight. It has damaged many parts of her body. And her addiction has reached that level that after every now and then we have to keep her on sedatives. I want to know what happened to her.”

“I know her from past 5 years, we were in relationship. I broke up with her two years before, the reason being a misunderstanding. One of my friend, Anamika, she was very much obsessed about me. I liked her as a friend but she expected love. When I proposed Ananya, she was very jealous of her since that day. And later on she created a situation where Ananya was proved disloyal towards me. However that was all a part of the plan which was knitted meticulously by Anamika, Ananya was not aware of anything neither was I. Unaware of the plan I was made to meet Ananya urgently and what I saw left me shaken. Ananya was totally unaware of what had just happened and immediately she tried to make me understand the simple fact that even she was a victim of the same plan which Anamika made to separate us. But I didn’t listen to what she had to say and I broke up with her. Ananya tried to bring me back in her life but that never happened. I left the city soon enough, and Ananya was left alone. She started smoking and boozing. Later on she started going out for rave parties and ended up becoming a drug addict. I got to know all this from a friend of mine, but it was too late then. When I came back to this city, one night I saw Ananya lying unconscious outside a small pub late at night and I brought her here. She loved me a lot, I should have trusted her. But I was stupid. I saw what Anamika made me to see and all hell broke loose.” He said

“Did she stay with her parents?” the doctor asked

“No. She stayed in a hostel. She was in my college; she came here to complete her graduation.” He said

“Do they know about her condition?” the doctor asked

“Yes, I have informed them. I told them that she has met an accident. They will reach here by tomorrow.” He said

“What happened in your past is not the justification of what is happening now. Ananya couldn’t bear the pressure of your break-up, but ending up as a drug addict is not justified. You must stop blaming yourself now. If you don’t forgive yourself now then you will end up spending a life full of guilt and regret. Few things are meant to be in such a way. No one has a say in front of the laws of nature. She knows that you blame yourself for her suffering. And that’s why she wants to put an end to her sufferings. If you don’t free yourself now, then she won’t be able to free her soul. You love her is a fact but the chances of saving her is almost negligible is also a fact. And life is based on facts. And now I shall leave you in peace but reflect on my words if you think it’s worth it.”

And with that the doctor left for his home as his shift got over. He got up from the bench after a while, went upstairs, and entered into her room to find her sleeping. He held her hand, kissed on her forehead and whispered into her ear, “You are gonna live, don’t worry.”

The road ahead seems blurry…

In the journey of my life so far, never I got anything so easily. For everything I had to fight, after every little moment of success, I have faced endless nights of failure. Nothing came in my life so easily. Whenever things seemed to be easy, they always kept on changing quite dramatically. But I never gave up. I kept on walking the path of life, always played with the struggling phase in the hope that someday I would shine.

But now things seem to be different. The state of mind is very disruptive. The mind gets deviated; the chain of thoughts is often left incomplete. Often I feel weak, often my soul cries. “Why” is the only thing which circulates in my mind. They say, always keep a positive frame of mind and move ahead in life. But this part of my life is taking a toll on me. This part of my life is called, “the confused part.” Everything is blurry, nothing is clear. Every time my fate is trying to knock me down. I am tired of getting up every time now. The journey which I started long back in the quest of the shining sun seems to be going nowhere now. I am tired of the dark hours of night now. I don’t know when my life will see the face of a shining sun. Every now and then something pops up into my life and changes its dynamic. Why can’t I get things easily like many others? Why I have to fight for each and everything? They say, the more you face obstacles the better life you have in future. But the future seems blurry now. Life has always been unpredictable in my case but I need a break from all this now. I don’t know when that day will come, when I will be able to set my mind free, laugh aloud, live freely and dance on the tunes of life. I don’t know when the fate will switch its side in my favour again. I don’t know when my luck will become my lady love. I don’t know when my hard work will be finally paid off.

Everything seems new, everything seems uncertain, everyone seems strange and all I could see around is pain, regrets and sorrow. The pain of failure, the regret for not taking the advantage of the opportunity and sorrow for not having luck in my favour. People will say, start extracting positive things from this phase, it’s a learning experience for you and all you have to do is keep yourself pumped up and move ahead. It’s true we have to accept things and move along with life but I am tired of everything now. If you see from my point of view, you can’t see anything at all. The road ahead seems so blurry now…

Chennai Rains…

I don’t know when I fell in love with her…

Since my childhood, I don’t know why but I never liked Chennai very much. And that was the only reason I never wanted to come to Chennai to pursue my graduation. But things never work the way we always want. And I ended up here. The first impression like many others was the same – “hot and humid.” Initially I even faced a bit of language problem. But in few months I got used to it. And I never realized when I was dissolved into this city. It’s been three years now and no wonder I want to leave this place as soon as I can. But deep down even I know, when I will say goodbye to this city I will miss my days here. It has given me those moments for which I had craved so much. This city has taught me so many things in past three years. I have grown as a human being and I can say that I have so many moments which I can treasure in my heart forever. But one day I will have to leave this city, leave this place and move to another. That’s the law of nature. To reach where we always aspire to see ourselves, we should always keep on moving ahead without looking in the past. And when that day will come, then who knows I might not even want to leave everything that I have earned here and go away. Summer and Monsoon has been special for Chennai because here we don’t see any other climate. And during the monsoon season, it’s quite amazing to go for a drive around the city. 

In past few weeks, she has made a special place in my heart. Now when only six months are left, I have started liking this city. And adding few spices has been the lovely unpredictable rain that this city has. Never before in the past had the rain seemed so lovely to me. Never before in the past had the sea breeze at night seemed so cool. The climate is quite unpredictable here. It will be a hot sunny day and in a blink of your eye it will start raining heavily. And I have been its victim on many such occasions leaving me completely drenched and content. Why it’s like this way? When the time is near of my departure, why this city is suddenly attracting me towards it? Was this the same way before or it took me so much of time to understand it. Or things have changed with time? Whatever it is, the lovely rain has made its special place in my heart. And I guess I’m falling in love with her…