Everything was fine until Life happened…

Four years of my college went by in a flash; every memory every moment is still fresh and vivid in my mind as if it happened yesterday. I still remember the day; I came to Chennai and joined my college. “I have to spend four years of my life here!” was my first thought. But soon the time picked up its pace and until we realized it we were already at the gate of our college. And in a coming few moths it will be all over. College life will be over. It’s like your phase from sixth grade till tenth grade, back in those times four years seemed like eternity and every day used to pass at snail’s pace. But as we grow older time picks up its pace and before we can even think of something else our life will take a serious turn where the criticality of any situation is damn too much and the complexity of life keeps on multiplying exponentially. And the best part, you can’t do anything about it.

Whenever I look into the mirror I have only one thought in my mind all the time.

“I was not so fucking complicated earlier…”

And believe it or not that’s the truth. With everyday passing by we are becoming more and more complicated; our life has become one riddle and all the time it feels as if something or the other is missing from our life. We are running behind something we know nothing about. It’s like being blindfolded still running the race. Hardly there are people who want to do something out of the box. Hardly there is someone who wants to come out of their comfort zone and chase down what they always dreamed about. And if someone does either they are suppressed by others or it becomes too hard for them to fight against all the odds which mostly end up in giving upon their dream. I get wrapped up in this fear quite often. “What if I get lost in this crowd too?”

We have only two choices in life, we can either choose to get lost in the crowd or emerge as a winner. And doesn’t matter how fucked up our life is or it becomes we do have a choice in every situation, even in the darkest of times all we need is a ray of light.

In these four years, three years of my life went off in enjoying the college life, making new friends, sleepless nights before exams, fear of the results, partying, working hard in college fests, volunteering for blood donation camps, organizing college trips, everything was going smoothly and then suddenly it dawned upon us. That we were in final year of our college and with that it was the start of the placement drive. It was something for which everyone was so eagerly waiting from a long time. And then for me, Life happened…

Rejections after rejections in past six months, I have not just tasted failure. I have played with it, and I have been living my life in stress all the time. Doesn’t matter how hard I try not to be so worked up about all this but the complexity of the situation doesn’t even allow me to have a sound sleep at all. And it has given me so many posts for my blog and I am tired of answering people’s question all the time. I know for a fact that I am not the only one who is struggling in this world. There are people in worst situations than me but still surviving. And I don’t compare myself with anyone either. Still who will make others understand that? People think that I think that I am the only one with so much of issues in life. I don’t even know how they can come up with something like this. But that’s what the world do, cook up a whole damn story for you and you don’t even have a slightest of clue when that happened. It’s true that if you check my blog posts of past few months all you will find is one depressing story, motivating at the same time.  

The story about an isolated guy who’s trying hard to make his place, his identity in the crowd so that one day he will shine and the road which have been looking so blurry lately will be cleared out soon one fine day, that day he will emerge as a winner out of this and overcome his fear of getting lost in the crowd.

“Everything was going fine until Life happened…” I reflected.