We have survived storms when we were sure we won’t be
able to. We have overcome our fears when we knew it was impossible. We have
come really far but still there are times when we lose the grip over our
consciousness and feel trapped by the rationality of life. We live in a fear of
not being able to conquer our dreams and getting lost in the crowd is the worst
fear for people who love to conquer heights.
I have been going through a similar phase. There was a
time when my life was leading nowhere and at that point of time I mustered all
the courage to give it a direction. Obviously that required a lot of fighting
with the loved ones, even few sacrifices but I succeeded in getting where I
aspired to be.
In past few months, certain things have come up in my
life and I am tired of fighting my own demons now. It is true I have chosen
this life but life can be demanding at times.
And when you are not able to
fulfill the demands it starts taking a toll on you.
My life has been dramatic and filled with adventures.
But lately, I have been missing out on a lot of things and when my life turns
plain and boring it irritates the crap out of me. I don’t like plain stuffs,
being a chef myself I love varieties and when life becomes boring you need to
do something about it.
I have stopped updating my blog as I am not able to
balance my work and life at the same time. When I return home I am always tired
and the exhaustion never allows me to sit in front of my laptop and type. But
then somehow when I will manage to sit, I am often short of words.
I am afraid what if I stop doing what I love and become
like everyone else. I don’t want to spend a life chasing something aimlessly. I
want more from life. Life has offered me so many things till now but now it has
become stagnant. I hate being stagnant. I am like a river which changes its
stream from time to time but never ever comes to a halt and in the end it meets
the sea and the sea connects to the ocean. Maybe when I reach the ocean I will
be stagnant and that would be the end of my life…
Living a life in a fear is as bad as knowing the path
but not travelling through the rough patches. It is like you know you will fall
and you are afraid to fall. But how can you forget that you have fallen hell
lot of times in your past and every time you did, you picked yourself up. You
dusted your clothes and started running again.
I have done this throughout my life. But now I am
scared of falling…
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| Source: https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2014/05/22/final_what_we_fear_artwork_wide-78d18fd2b932b4af374a239e53e3afac7498338f.jpg?s=1400 |
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