Incomplete love story: The Seekers of Selfdom

King Atanu had brought Achyut in, to seek his help and expertise in trading. It is been over two months since Achyut joined his kingdom and things have improved. He brought in many more contacts, which the kingdom lacked.

King Atanu was really happy the way things have flourished.

But Tamina wasn't happy with the way things were going. She overheard the conversation of her father and mother. Achyut had asked for her hand for his son Achintya. King Atanu wanted Tamina to marry Achintya.

Queen Moly tried to make Atanu understand that Tamina was not ready for marriage yet. But Atanu had clearly ordered Moly to convince Tamina as he has already promised Achyut and he cannot break his promise.

Tamina returned to her room, she was broken. She stood by her kingdom for her father but he was forcing her to marry his friend's son now.

She felt hurt. She wanted to run away. She knew if she married Achintya then neither of them will be happy.

She loved Marc and she wanted to wait for him. Even though the certainty of Marc returning to her kingdom was negligible. She was not even sure whether he loved her. But still she wanted to wait for him.

Queen Moly came inside Tamina room and she noticed her moist eyes.

"What happened my child?" She asked her

"I heard your conversation with father. I can't marry Achintya," Tamina said and broke down in her mother's arm.

Moly hugged her tightly and a lone tear trickled down her cheek. "I tried to talk to your father but he has already promised his friend. And you know he cannot break his promise. You should spend some time with Achintya and maybe you will start liking him. You will have to marry Tamina," Moly said.

It was late at night, when Tamina woke up from a nightmare. The same nightmare has been haunting her from a long time now. It was about Marc. She was worried about him. “What if he is in danger?” She thought to herself.

“But how I am going to find him?” She asked herself. She was surprised that how she can feel about someone, whom she met once and she was not even sure whether she will see him again.

“I cannot marry Achintya,” she reflected. But she didn’t know what to do. Her father won’t listen to her, she was sure and she had only one option – to leave her palace and wander in search of him.

She has never thought about leaving her kingdom before. Tears rolled up in her eyes. She sat down on her bed, held her head with her hands and broke down.

“Why I am feeling this way?” she asked herself.

“Where is Marc? Does he even care about me? What if I leave behind everything for nothing?” Questions kept darting in her head.

She got up from her bed, changed her clothes. She covered her face with a cloth, kept her sword in the cover and sat down on her bed. She should leave a note behind at least, she thought. She took out a piece of paper and ink.

Father,

I am sorry that I have to leave you like this, but I cannot marry the person you have chosen for me. You may be right in your own way, but I cannot marry him.

I am going in search of myself and I would request to wait for me. I will come back when my search is over and I am trained enough to take care of myself.

Maybe, I am not as good a daughter as good a father you are. Take care of mother and the kingdom while I am gone. I will write to you, whenever it is possible.

Love

Tamina

She folded the piece of paper and kept it on the table in her room. She took her sword, pulled up the window pane and jumped off. Tamina had trained her to evade from the eyes of the soldiers, who man the palace. She has been sneaking out from her room to visit the lakeside but today she knew she will have to go beyond it.

She walked down the dark forest without looking back, she knew if she looks back then she might become weak and then she won’t be able to go in search of Marc and she will have to marry Achintya. She stopped midway, mustered up all her courage and looked back at the palace.

“I will come back when my search is over Father, I will come back,” she said and marched ahead. She had covered her face, so no one could identify her. It was really difficult for a princess to wander in the middle of night, especially when things are not going well in your kingdom.

Tamina however, was confident of herself and the training that she had gone through. She was trained enough to keep herself safe. After walking continuously for almost an hour, she decided to take some rest. She sat down near a tree, kept her sword and closed her eyes for a bit. Flashes of how she met Marc started circulating in her mind. She was not in this world anymore, she knew. She had surrendered her soul to him, she knew. And finding him is the only option she had, she reflected.

“What is so special about being in love?” she asked herself.

“It gives you the courage to do anything. I would have never thought of leaving the kingdom like this way ever, it is only because of Marc, I was able to overcome my fears and go beyond it,” her heart replied.

“But do you realise what your parents will go through?” the mind asked.

“I know, they will be tensed. But how can they decide my life on their own? I should at least have the say, when it comes to my marriage. My father married the person he wanted, then why I shouldn’t do the same?” replied the heart.

“But what if Achyut take advantage of the situation and dethrones your father?” the mind asked again.

“Then I will come back for his head,” her heart said and continued, “I know what I have done will hurt a lot of people. But eventually things will fall in its right place and then they will understand the reason.”

There was an eerie silence, Tamina could hear the little creatures of night, and it was a full moon day. She looked at the moon and said, “Help me find Marc. Show me light, when there is darkness around. Hold my hand, when I fall. Give me strength when I am drained.”

“Marc, I am coming for you. Wherever you are, I will find you. And I know when I find you, we don’t need words to say anything. I know you are in love with me as much as I am because my heart can feel your presence in here. There are several questions in my head, why you didn’t come back for me? Maybe you tried and you couldn’t. I don’t know but I can’t wait. In every story, the guy comes for the girl. But in our story, the girl has left her world to find her guy. Wait for me,” Tamina said to herself and started walking again. It was dawn.

She stood there atop a high ground as the sun rose from the east. The first light of the day filled her heart with much needed energy. She could see the kingdom from the high ground, named after its queen, Satyaki. She had heard so much about the queen and how the kingdom was named after her, who was a fierce warrior of her time and since that day she had decided to learn combat and lead in the battle. But she could lead only once, and her father made her promise him that she will never be a part of any battle.

“I need to meet the queen but she should never know who I am,” she said to herself and started walking towards Satyaki kingdom.

There was chaos in Atanu’s kingdom. The helper had come to Tamina room to wake her up but when she couldn’t find her in the room, she read the note that Tamina had left behind. She immediately rushed to King Atanu and showed her the note.

Atanu was angry and shattered at the same time. He was worried about Tamina whereabouts more than the reason why she had to leave the kingdom. He was worried and several questions darted into his head.

“What if she gets caught by our enemies?” he thought in his head and ordered his men to go out in search of her.

Molly didn’t seem surprise. She knew deep down her daughter won’t hold back her feelings and she will fight it. A lone tear trickled from her eyes. She was worried about Tamina too.

“If anything happens to my daughter, I will never forgive you,” Molly said to Atanu and went inside her room.

Satyaki Kingdom was way too different from her kingdom. Women were not supposed to cover their faces here and there was a positive vibe around. Satyaki had alliances with almost every ruler around her kingdom. She had made a pact with all the rulers and she was most respected among the other rulers. Atanu, on the other hand, had started earning respect for his deeds but he lost in front of his own daughter.

Tamina was thirsty. She found a well where all the women were getting water for their houses. She walked towards the well. All the women there gave her a hard look.

“Who are you?” asked one of the women.

“I am a traveller. I have come to your kingdom to meet the queen. I have heard so much about her,” Tamina replied and she was amazed how she said the exact same thing that Marc had told her when she had asked him the same question.

“You look tired. Come, I will pour some water for you,” said the women.

“Thank you,” Tamina was pleased.

“My name is Tanna,” Tamina said to the women and greeted others. She had to change her name just in case if the word spreads here then she might get into trouble.

“My name is Chandrima,” said the women who poured water for her. “You can stay at my house,” said Chandrima.

“Thank You,” Tamina replied.

Chandrima walked Tamina to her home, it was small hut but from inside it was indeed beautiful. The house was decorated with handmade crafts and beautiful paintings.

“Do you paint?” Tamina asked her.

“Oh no, my daughter does. Her name is Sanyukta,” replied Chandrima.

“How old is she? This is beautiful,” Tamina said.

“She is 12 year old. Her painting help us to earn some money also. We trade them for food and other stuff,” Chandrima replied. Tamina felt really bad. Living in a palace, she has never tasted how life is without money and power.

“A few days ago, another traveller came to our kingdom. He stayed here. His name was Marc. He told us after he leaves, a girl will also come and I should take care of her. Are you the same girl?” Chandrima asked her out of the blue.

Tamina was taken aback. She never expected this.

“He also left a note for you,” Chandrima said and handed a note to her and left.

Tamina stood there in disbelief. She held the note written by Marc for her, her heart skipped a beat. He knew that she would come in search of him, how can he be so sure? She reflected.

She was feeling amazed and loved. He had arranged a place for her too. He knew Tamina had not wandered alone. She was so sure now that he loves her too.

She unwrapped the handwritten note, sat down on the floor and started reading it.

Dear Tamina,

I know sooner or later you will come in search of me and when you do that, you will cross this kingdom like I did. I don’t know why I am leaving a note for you even though I am not sure whether you will ever get to read this or not.

But if you do, then I hope you will get my message and if you are reading this, it means that even you love me like I do.

I know it is very different. Out of the place it seems like. We met and something about you stayed with me. The night when you came into my room and when you tried to help you out, I wanted to tell you then and there about how I was feeling. But then I was not sure whether you have realised it or not and that is why I walked away without saying goodbye to you because I knew you will realise one day and when you do that I know you will come to find me, for the fierce warrior you are.

You must be thinking, how can I be so sure? I could read your eyes when you had come to my room that night. I could sense that there is an immense pain that you have suppressed within your heart, a lot of secrets that you have kept locked inside your heart and the key is lost somewhere within you.

I could sense that you were doing something because you were told to do so, but deep within you always wanted things to end differently.

I had to leave Satyaki Kingdom soon as I couldn’t live at Chandrima house forever and I am leaving because I am not sure when you will arrive. But I am heading further north and wherever I will go, I will leave a note for you. Maybe that will help you to find me.

I hope to see you sooner, hope to embrace you in my arms sooner for our souls are intertwined with each other and the world cannot stop us to meet.

Love

Marc

Tears rolled up in her eyes. Tamina sat there and re-read the letter. She kissed the letter and felt the words scribbled by Marc over it. And she sat there as tears kept rolling down her cheek. She wasn’t sad, she was relieved to know that her heart didn’t lie to her. That she knew deep down that maybe even he likes her. And after knowing that Marc feels the same way as she does, she couldn’t control herself and she broke down.