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Incomplete Love Story

Incomplete Love Story

........

like an unfinished dream, an incomplete story
a letter half written, a forgotten melody;
certain things are better incomplete
like our...

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Memoir of a pierced heart...

I am in too much of pain, but my heart never forgets to miss you and my mind never forgets to replay all the moments that we spent together in the theater at the back of my head. When I try to close my eyes at night to get some sleep, which I have been struggling to get from many days now, the same theater plays all the reasons why we drifted apart.

I don't remember how the food tastes, it's been a while since I had a proper meal. I have lost my appetite and not that I didn't try to eat, I tried a lot to gulp something down my throat but it got stuck and I puked my lungs out every time I tried to fill my stomach with something.

I don't remember the last time when I smiled, when I had a hearty laugh; and if I recollect my memory it was with you the last time I ate or slept properly or smiled. Whenever you are around, it calms me down; you calm down the demon within me and I am at my most peaceful moment in life. And this is something which I never get around anyone and this is what haunts me. Life without you is like a nightmare, which never seems to get over.

Why life is so unfair? Why life always put us in a situation from where nothing seems right and everything seems blurry?

Why there are certain events in life which we can never fight even if we wish to? Why we have to wait for life to decide what I want? Every morning when I wake up, my hand automatically reaches out for my phone and while I am about to type you a message, it reminds me that you have gone far from me. Every time something I see, I want to tell you like how I used to but I cannot. While I pray each day that life brings you back in my life, I don't actually know what will happen? And when that thought arrives in my mind, I am absolutely clueless but in immense pain.

I listen to every song that we dedicated to each other and somehow try to find solace in the rhythm but the same song pierces my heart, when it makes me realise the void which has been created due to your absence. A part of me has turned into vacuum, where I don't feel anything but there is only pain.

Sometimes I feel like inflicting pain upon me, hoping that the pain which resides inside will come out but everytime I think about doing it, it reminds me of the promise I made to you. Why I am still holding on to every promise that I made to you? Why your voice still echoes in my ear? Why I can still feel your touch all over my skin? Why this heart cannot stop beating for you and why it feels as if my heart will stop beating at all if you are gone for too long?

There are only questions that resides within my mind, which I keep trying to answer somehow giving myself solace by reasoning the situation which has put me in a place, where there is only darkness and this time I don't have you to show me the light. The tunnel seems endless and so does the pain.

There are days, when I am so angry that I want to throw you out of my life and when I take a step towards it; I realise that how it will be without you and I realise that I am too much in love with you to get done with you. I can never get done with you, even if someday you are done with me. The anger is so much that I am turning into something different and while people around me are clueless, every night and every morning I am raging a battle within myself and every afternoon and every evening I fail miserably in the battle.

There is only one wish, which comes out from my heart these days that the way life took you away from me, it brings you back to me soon and with that wish and hope, I am sailing through this rough sea; which never wants to calm down because only you can calm it down.

Source: https://quotesloveable.com/i-am-lost-without-you-wallpaper/i-am-lost-without-you-wallpaper-1280x800px-802739-lost-without-you-108-15-kb-31-05-2015/





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